


How to Embarrass Yourself, A Step by Step Guide

by JustFrancy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Jokes, Domestic, Fluff, Lots of sexual mentions, M/M, Romance, Sexual Tension, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:14:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustFrancy/pseuds/JustFrancy
Summary: Jongdae hates snow, but he also might kind of like it now. That’s only because of Joonmyeon though.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I once again ran away with a plot. Anyway, I hope you, prompter-chan, like this piece which I’ve nurtured like a little baby. I also hope that everyone else enjoys this. I apologise in advance, because this fic is unbeta-ed, although I did read it over a few times before handing it in. Thanks for hosting such a lovely small festival and may everyone have a nice winter. ♥

 

 

 

 

“Are you sure you grabbed the right one?“ The boy flipped through the pages like mad, searching for the certain heading his friend had told him about. Not to mention that this kind soul went to fetch it, so Jongdae could use it for this rather stupid assignment. Was probably his own fault though. This professor had no sympathy for students sleeping during lectures, not like Jongdae needed them anyway.

“It's not my fault you dozed off, Dae. I mean, I know you're literally always occupied thinking about a certain someone, but that still doesn't give you the right to simply snore away in his lectures. It was about time, that he gave you a punishment—“

“Tell me the fucking page, Minseok.”

“I am older than you—“

“On a second thought, I don't need your help.” Jongdae pressed the red button without looking at his cellphone and shook his head. Minseok dared to call himself Jongdae's best friend and yet he was so mean. It was not like Jongdae could help it. He was a man and his hormones liked jumping off a cliff, whenever he was confronted with his neighbour.

Yesterday was such a tragic day. He couldn't help watching that man undress. It certainly wasn't his fault that their flats were across each other's. He didn't choose this room, so he could goggle at others. Nobody wanted to understand that though.

Putting this issue aside, Jongdae was fine with just staring at this perfect piece of art. That much wasn't unusual, considering the man had moved in just a few weeks ago and still didn't manage to actually buy himself some curtains.

If he didn't want onlookers, then surely he would have bought them.

Jongdae stared at the words in front of him and read over the task once more.

Yesterday was awful though. Jongdae had often dared to take peek, just a very small one.

He tilted his head as he patted the empty paper over and over again with the closed side of the pen.

Maybe not just a peek. He wasn't sure, but he still didn't know how he managed to get himself caught. He hadn't even intended to watch his neighbour as he was singing loudly to _Girl's Day's Twinkle Twinkle_.

It was just by chance that Jongdae drew his curtains to the side at the worst possible moment. Once again, he had caught his neighbour taking off his clothes in front of the window. He swore to himself not to watch again, so Jongdae begrudgingly tore his eyes away, but that wasn't before said man turned around to stare at him.

He was never this embarrassed and he couldn't sleep all night. Not to mention how awfully stupid it was of him to let go of the curtains, stumble back onto his bed and stare at his wall like a freaking maniac. It was not like had just committed a crime? Definitely not the case.

Jongdae shook his head, once more trying to concentrate at the task at hand. Minseok was right about the heading which sounded much like the essay's headline. This ought to help him—

A sharp scratching sound could be heard and Jongdae sighed. Yes, there was some fucking snow covering the pavement but why, why of all times did someone have to shovel it away now? The boy put his chin on his hand and continued taking notes, trying to ignore the screeching and pavement scratching noises which were slowly filling up the room. Someone should have made this soundproof.

So he opted to using his earphones which soon blasted some of _Davichi's_ songs in a decent volume, completely shutting him off from the world around him.

It was only much, much later that Jongdae put them away again. He stretched his legs and sniffed once, ears slowly suggesting to the silence.

At least he thought there would be silence by now. That was not the case. The shovel could still be heard and Jongdae only shortly asked himself if a grandpa was trying to shovel to his best ability. Nobody could be that slow. Jongdae shook his head, closed the textbook, took a deep breath before climbing onto his feet to open up the curtains.

There was no grandpa and there was no fucking snow on all pavements which led to the house he was residing in. “Wow, fuck.” He could feel his phone vibrating in the pockets of his trousers and quickly scrambled to accept the call.

“What the fuck do you want?” Jongdae asked before anyone could say a thing. His eyes were searching for the one who had done too much of a good job at shovelling places he didn't need to. It wasn't a second later when he saw his new neighbour, the shovel still in his hands as he seemingly talked to an old lady. Jongdae had already realised weeks ago that this man was a kind and friendly soul. Everyone had taken a liking to him.

He also apparently caught Jongdae red-handed.

“I just wanted to ask you, if we wanted to go watch a movie.” He could hear Chanyeol's voice just faintly, brain trying to wrap itself around the fact that he wanted to go down and hug that guy. It was actually his duty to clean the pavement today. That one deserved an award.

“I fear, I don't have time,” Jongdae answered, scratching his chest for a moment, eyes still watching over his neighbour. He was awful. He had been staring at him and couldn't even give this masterpiece a name. Jongdae had missed out on the inauguration party because of his university project. He hated university and all these stupid tasks. Yet he wanted to please his parents and show them that he was not useless.

“Is it about your assignment? I could help you,” Chanyeol offered and Jongdae could only smile at his friend's kindness. He ought to switch him out with Minseok. That friend was utterly useless and bitching all the time.

“You mean, I will be helping him.” He could hear Kyungsoo's low baritone voice in the background and Jongdae could easily imagine the annoyed expression on his face. Kyungsoo knew how to distort his face to make it look like he was the most fearsome person in the world, although he barely reached Jongdae's height, which was overall just very pathetic.

“Anyways, guys. My neighbour has taken over my duty today to shovel all this goddamn white mess away. I feel indebted.”

“Invite him on a date.”

“Hah, we don't even know each other, Chanyeol,” Jongdae whined and leaned his left cheek against the cold surface of the window. He could feel the goosebumps all over his body, spreading further and further like a wildfire until he once more met his neighbour's eyes. Jongdae immediately ducked away, promptly stumbling against his cupboard which made his _Haikyuu_ figures on top of it clink together and fall down. “Oh, shit.”

“Leave him alone, Chanyeol. Some idiots just don't know how to handle a crush.”

“Chanyeol, please don't accept Kyungsoo's special package on Christmas. I have heard him talking about it these days.” Jongdae could hear footsteps on the other end of the line as he tried to line up his figures once more, carefully checking if his precious _Hinata Shouyou_ figure was still in good shape. God praise the lord it looked like new.

“He's gonna give me something?? Really? But why wouldn't I...”

“You should refuse to accept anything that small.”

“YAH KIM FUCKING JONG—“

_Beep beep beep_

He did not have a crush on his neighbour. He was just... very good looking and Jongdae couldn't deny that. The boy took a look at the curtains and sighed before checking the clock. He had been working for 2 hours straight. That man was probably inhumane, nobody could shovel snow for such a long time. That much was clear to good old lazy Jongdae.

2 goddamn hours in the fucking cold. He was probably freezing his ass off by now.

Jongdae was looking over at the coffee machine, which could whip up some nice hot cocoa – a present from Minseok for his Birthday this year. Perhaps this was his chance to apologize and make himself seem like a normal sane and friendly person. Now he just needed the right capsule.

The boy opened up his cupboard and grinned widely. No capsules at all. Overall one could call this cupboard extremely empty. Jongdae still remembered lending the last capsules to Chanyeol, who wanted to try out his coffee machine before Kyungsoo could nag at him for it not working properly.

He had none left which made him turn sideways to open the fridge. Just as empty. His paycheck was not due until the end of December and he had only opened up his 14th window on the advent calendar. He was completely and utterly broke.

“Too bad.” Jongdae shrugged his shoulders and lay down on his sofa. Well, his wonderful neighbour had other neighbours as well. He could miss out on this opportunity, nothing to sweat over really.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

“He was out there shovelling all day and you didn't even work up the courage to go down and thank him for taking over your duty? You're a coward and lazy. No wonder he never used the chance to talk to you, cause you're a bad stalker.”

“We only met once in the elevator. He didn't even look at me. Which grown man would have interest in a stupid college student either way?”

“You're trying to delude yourself into thinking about stupid things, Kim Jongdae.”

“You're awfully annoying, hyung,” Jongdae whined, giving his best friend the cutest puppy gaze he could offer.

Minseok lifted his finger and opened up his lips before shoving the finger in and out. He was horrible. Jongdae needed support, not this awful bitch of a friend.

“You will make it up to him.”

“What?” Jongdae screeched, several heads turning to look at him before he pulled the cart back, hiding himself behind a big pile of tampons.

“You will shovel today and have a lot of fun, Jongdae.” Minseok said, wrinkling his nose while shooting his friend a very weird and confusing gaze before disappearing. Probably picking up his girlfriend while Jongdae still had to buy a few things. Not that he could buy much with the money left in his pocket.

He sighed audibly, eyes running over the meat counter in front of him. Jongdae would not be visiting his family this Christmas since he couldn't even afford taking the time off from studying. Not to mention that they were currently in a somewhat bad relationship. He might be interpreting too much into the lack of communication, but everything went downhill when Jongdae came out on his birthday. Not the best idea, now that he thought about it. Still, he liked the chicken they always had on Christmas.

Spending Christmas alone was one horror of a thought. He invited Minseok a week ago, but his best friend rejected him immediately. Apparently he had plans with his girlfriend. He also thought of inviting Baekhyun, his seat mate in Biology. The idea started to horrify him however, when he thought back of the guy's last prank. Jongdae was over for dinner – a lucky day, since he loved Baekhyun's mother's cooking. Too bad though when the older woman was waving Baekhyun's oddly coloured dildo in her hands like a baton used for baseball (he knew all of Baek's sex toys, thanks to the other telling him about every goddamn purchase). The prank went on nevertheless as the kind lady thought of it as a wand to drizzle sauce.

Jongdae would never forget the image of the dildo standing upright in the middle of the sauce within the pot. He feared that this would haunt him forever. He could also hear Baekhyun's brother's laugh as the man excused himself. Jongdae just hoped that his mother gave him a good scolding. He couldn't risk Baekhyun coming over. Jongdae feared he could buy himself a coffin if his dear friend were to meet his neighbour coincidentally. Perhaps even seduce him. Not good.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were not an option either. Unbearable once they were together. Not to mention they were never really apart.

Jongdae sighed once more, trying to push his cart forward but it was not until he caught sight of his neighbour at the meat counter. To his utter (and worst) dismay, his neighbour had already noticed him.

_System alert, dripping point reached._

In the heat of the moment Jongdae's hand grabbed one of the packages next to him and ran for the cash register.

He was the biggest fool on earth.

He had bought tampons.

In front of his neighbour!

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

This day couldn't possibly get worse. A task of impossibility.

He reconsidered his trail of thoughts though, when he saw snow covering every inch of the pavement his neighbour had scooped away the day before. Not a minute later a snowplough drove past him with at least 100 km/h. More snow was flying onto the pavement. Not too mention the snowplough had managed to press the snow together so tightly, Jongdae doubted he could even move it.

Yeah, shovelling some snow was a great idea.

When the snowplough stopped at the end of the street, Jongdae took a picture of the logo at the side. He attached it to his next message to Kyungsoo.

_I am suing you for dirtying my property._

Jongdae looked at the picture; a logo that was spelling **_Fat penguin, pushing through the snow_**.

He opened up the chat once Kyungsoo answered but there was hardly any amusement washing over him. _I hope you have an awful good time shovelling away. Make some impression on this masterpiece of art for me._

Jongdae threw his arms into the air, surrendering to whatever God had planned for him before grabbing the caretaker's shovel and actually starting on his duty. He was merely paying his neighbour back, because the man had done the same for him. Jongdae was not a lazy ass, that couldn't get anything done and he would prove this shit to his friends. He was perfectly capable at handling a small crush. He was also not going to make a fool out of himself again.

After what felt like an eternity, Jongdae looked at his progress and nodded to himself when suddenly out of the blue something hard hit him at the head. The student turned around to find 5 kids laughing out loudly while pointing at him. Someone ought to teach them a lesson or two! Jongdae didn't have the time playing around though, so he continued shovelling but apparently the odds were against him when the 5 kids literally crushed him.

At the end of their brawl, Jongdae couldn't feel his hands anymore and his jacket was soaked to the point where he could feel the snow reaching through his pullover. Nevertheless he continued after taking off his jacket and managed to clear the pavement of the white mess. Except for that small spot where the snowplough pushed everything together. Jongdae thought he would die trying or possibly break the old shovel.

“Should I be buying curtains, my neighbour?” Jongdae wanted to scream, the soft and gentle voice scaring him out of his socks, as he turned around to look at this masterpiece of art. He was clearly shook, voice somewhere hidden in the back of his throat as the man put a jacket around him before casually shoving a cup of hot cocoa into his hands. “Should I not?”

Jongdae put the jacket on properly, it was warmed up and the soft material felt so good against his skin. He doubted that he would be able to give this piece back. The faint but distinctive smell of aftershave surrounding his sense. Yeah, overall Jongdae could only think of this man as a grown up who had been goggled at by a college student. He felt so utterly horrible.

Jongdae thus remained quiet and enjoyed the hot cocoa, a big grin on his lips as he tasted it. Just the right amount of sweetness dripping down his throat as his hands came to life again. “I didn't picture you to be this quiet a boy.” Boy? Boy?? His neighbour could only be a few years older, that much was for sure.

Jongdae put the cup away before clearing his throat. “I-I am not a boy! I'm... an adult.” That was perhaps the most intelligent answer he could have given.

“And what is this adult's name?” Goddamn, two could play this game.

“And who are you to ask for my name?”

“The man from across who you've watched undress a hundred times.”

“That's impossible, given you only do that every evening while living here for 12 days. That makes exactly 12...” Jongdae looked at his neighbour's amused face and wrinkled his nose. What was this about not making a fool of himself?

“Did you like what you see?” Gosh, was this flirting? If so, Jongdae wanted to dig a hole and disappear.

“I don't like answering questions that might make me feel uncomfortable.”

“Who's been feeling uncomfortable,” his neighbour replied and Jongdae hammered the shovel into the snow with all of his might. He was going to shovel this away and make a name for himself. Not that he hadn't until now. If only a hole would open up for him to hide.

“T-Then don't undress in front of the window, goddamn it!” The last curse was not because of his rage but because there was no fucking way to move the snow. He used the weight of his body to push down the handle until it cracked into two. Jongdae stumbled back in the process, but there was his awfully nice neighbour's chest stopping him, two arms securing the boy on either side.

He was cursed. Jongdae didn't have the money to pay a fucking old shovel?

Just when Jongdae was entirely sure of his demise, the caretaker turned around the corner. “N-No, I am done for,” he whispered and swallowed hard. How was he going to afford living for another week?

The caretaker took in the sight of his shovel way too early for Jongdae's liking, but there was nothing he could do anymore. The student was about to bow, but suddenly a larger body blocked his view and he looked up at his neighbour, who – after taking a very very close look – was only a few inches taller but spotting some really broad shoulders. Gosh, he shouldn't be having these thoughts now.

“Joonmyeon-sshi, what happened?” the caretaker asked and there was almost sympathy in his voice when he examined his broken tool. That man had never been this nice to Jongdae who wrinkled his nose in disgust. Everyone was freaking nice to their new neighbour.

“I wanted to help out and broke it. I am really very sorry. I only meant to clear the rest of the pavement as well, seeing my neighbour was this troubled.” The caretaker looked at Jongdae for a moment before patting Joonmyeon's shoulder, a smile gracing his features.

“It's alright, I will buy a new one. Thank you for always helping out.” The man grabbed the two parts and made his way inside, leaving a shocked Jongdae behind who stared at Joonmyeon in front of him. There was this ever so friendly smile on his face and Jongdae didn't know whether to be charmed or incredibly guilty. The man had just lied for him, that much was to be admitted.

“You owe me.” Jongdae nodded faintly, only now noticing the bunny cheeks which were highlighted by the sun. He really couldn't be much older than Jongdae.

“Your age?”

“23,” Jongdae answered shortly, wondering if this was going to be an interrogation of some sort. At least he felt compelled to answer by now.

“Jongdae, hmm.” The student looked at his neighbour, amazed at how gentle his name sounded rolling off the other's tongue. It had a certain warmth to it that Jongdae could not put into words. Not while his heart was beating in such an erratic rhythm at least.

“Nice to meet you, I am Joonmyeon.”

“Age,” Jongdae fired back at the speed of a rocket, making the man laugh in front of him. A rather pleasant sound, he noted.

“27,” Joonmyeon answered after a short while, hiding his pretty lips behind his left hand. So he really was a few years older, which was not much of a surprise given how the man was dressed all the time (business suits that fit him like a second skin!). He did act more mature than Jongdae, who thought that growing up was not a thing for him.

“I... won't watch anymore. I promise.” Jongdae bit his lower lip, eyes not meeting Joonmyeon's as he bowed in apology.

“I will buy some curtains then.” Jongdae looked back up to find Joonmyeon smiling at him, a rather reassuring sight. Thus Jongdae tried smiling as well, faintly remembering the backhug Joonmyeon had given him a moment ago and those strong arms—

“W-Will you help me choosing?” Jongdae blinked twice, stringing the words back together in his head before laughing. This man might be just as much of a lost cause as himself. Once Jongdae caught himself again, he gave Joonmyeon a curt nod who proceeded to hand the student his cellphone number before waving goodbye. Apparently, he still had a meeting to attend. Jongdae liked to believe that, nobody wore such expensive suits so easily.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

“He asked you to choose the curtains for him?”

“More exactly, he only asked for my help.” Minseok stared at Jongdae, who was currently absorbed in the pudding in front of him. His fridge at home was rather empty again and he knew that he probably wouldn't be able to buy new stuff given his wallet was even emptier. Still only a few days left of December, only a few days left until he would receive his paycheck from the library, which he was working part time at. Sometimes he envied Joonmyeon's luxury.

“More importantly, this is the last thing from your fridge? You emptied it out again this month? But there are still a few days left!” Baekhyun whined and Jongdae wanted to whack him over the head. He was having the problem, not the other. Apparently Baekhyun had found himself somewhat of a sugar daddy, nothing Jongdae liked to believe.

“I know.”

“Speaking of that, Jongdae, you should go grocery shopping today. Tomorrow is said to be a big blizzard, -14°C. You won't be able to leave the house, I assure you,” Kyungsoo cut in and Jongdae shot him a glare. That was the silliest thing he had ever heard.

He heard a lot of silly things at lunch time in this cafeteria.

Nothing beat this.

“Tze, we're not in Alaska, I beg your pardon.” Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders, seeing he could not help his friend and make him believe in tomorrow's weather forecast. He was not lying though. Chanyeol was simply nodding his head, one of his hands soothing over Kyungsoo's head. Ugh.

“Hey, if you don't want your sugar daddy, I'd give it a try.” Jongdae looked at his pudding, seemingly all hunger gone as he couldn't believe what Baekhyun had just said. He seriously didn't like the image of his sex-driven friend all over Joonmyeon. Ugh, no.

“Keep your hands to yourself, gosh,” Jongdae mumbled angrily, gaining a laugh from the likes of Baekhyun.

“Invite him to our grown up party at New Years Eve!” Minseok nodded right away.

“Wonderful opportunity for us to get to know your boyfriend, you know, since Soeul is coming, too.” There was something awful about Minseok's girlfriend being the only female at their party. It had been like that for 3 years now. Jongdae couldn't even imagine how Soeul even kept up with them.

“Yeah, sure,” Jongdae said, not giving this another thought because Joonmyeon was not his boyfriend. He probably never would. Whatever that was 9 days ago, he couldn't exactly name it. Joonmyeon had only contacted him twice, showing Jongdae really ugly curtains which were supposed to be beautiful.

The silent plea for help was heard by him and he showed Joonmyeon some real nice ones which apparently _matched the beautiful interior of your room, given you're surrounded by white furniture and red walls (these will accent the colours, believe me)._

He had just admitted to being one hell of a creep. He did not check out Joonmyeon's room. He just had a thing for interior designs and his neighbour's was really really beautiful and passionate.

Jongdae sighed, making everyone at the table look at him with a worried expression. “You know, I can borrow you some money.”

“I don't need your help, but thanks, Chanyeol,” Jongdae said, smiling softly at Chanyeol, who nodded in return. He wanted to prove himself a grown up man, not just to his friends and family, but also to himself. He didn't need anyone to lend him money. Jongdae would be able to survive on his own. He could go on diets anyway.

He'd just go and buy a few things tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

“I am very shocked to say that no one will be able to leave the house today. The snow was falling in masses last night and we're completely snowed in. The temperatures reached -17°C and both doors are completely frozen. I would welcome it if nobody tried to break these doors open...” Yeah, cause they were old. “I apologise for this incident. I will meanwhile try to make the elevator work again.”

They really were in Alaska. His fridge was empty. Jongdae was hungry and regretted not going groceries shopping yesterday. Kyungsoo had been awfully right and the boy once again showed no signs of being capable of living alone. The boys would tease him for sure. He was such a poor loser and he honestly just wanted to break down and cry.

Jongdae must have been a murderer in his past life.

He caught sight of Joonmyeon leaning against a wall across of him, completely unfazed by the situation as he was scrolling through his cellphone. The boy sighed inaudibly, pouting at no one in particular as he started thinking about what to do. Joonmyeon had probably lost interest in the student by now, perhaps he was crept out, perhaps both, perhaps neither.

He didn't know and he couldn't ask.

“Excuse me, but my little Daeul and I really need the elevator.” Jongdae looked at the single mother in front of him, which stepped out of the crowd of residents. They had called in a meeting after one older grandpa tried to break the door open with force thus earning himself applause for breaking the handle instead. Jongdae was the only one clapping though which made him think that he really was the weird one here.

The student tilted his head, looking at little Daeul sitting in his wheelchair. While the adults in this house seemingly hated him, kids really loved Jongdae to bits. He did love them back for all he knew. Seeing that Daeul was sticking his tongue out at him, Jongdae started to pout, making the small 6 year old laugh at him.

It didn't pass by Joonmyeon, who had stopped fiddling with his cellphone. Jongdae cleared his throat and looked away, not wanting to meet Joonmyeon's eyes.

“I will work on the elevator but for now, I am very sorry,” the caretaker said, making his way over to the door of the elevator with a sigh. That stupid thing was open for hours now.

“Jongdae hyung will take me up the stairs, right?” The student felt alarmed, way too many eyes on him as he turned to look at Daeul. The murmuring started and for once Jongdae really noticed how much the others despised him.

“Would be a surprise to know that our party boy knows how to treat children appropriately.” Jongdae swallowed hard, wondering if they knew he had ears which were working perfectly. He only partied once in a blue moon. It was all thanks to Baekhyun causing Jongdae's neighbours to call the goddamn police. That was the only party ever, it seemingly left a lasting impression on everyone.

“But of course,” he replied, since it was not Daeul's fault. Jongdae lifted the boy out of his wheelchair, chuckling softly when Daeul immediately went for his lips, hands coming to tug at the student's hair. Not a moment later he felt a pair of arms around his left leg before taking a look at the perpetrator. “Let me go, Minhee.” The girl shook her head.

“Jongdae-oppa said he'll marry me.” Too much information. He tried to smile at the kid but Minhee was taken away by her mother immediately, throwing daggers at Jongdae with her glare.

“I thank you, Jongdae.” He turned to look at Daeul's mother and smiled brightly.

“No problem. I will take Daeul and later come down to give the wheelchair a lift—“

“That won't be necessary,” Joonmyeon swooped in, grabbing the wheelchair with ease. The ease Jongdae never had while actually carrying that heavy thing up the stairs. He had done this often enough, because the elevator was out of commission more than once in a blue moon. And they called him party boy.

“That is very nice of you, Joonmyeon-sshi,” Daeul's mother told him, shy smile gracing her features as hearts were literally shooting out of her eyes. Well, of course. Joonmyeon was a wanted man while Jongdae was practically a kid, invisible to everyone in this house. He felt sour for a moment but started climbing up the stairs to the 7th floor. They could flirt with Joonmyeon for all Jongdae cared...

“Hyung, we have to game _Mario Kart_ again.” Jongdae looked down at Daeul and nodded enthusiastically.

“Sure, you know I'll beat you any time.” He rubbed his nose against Daeul's, who was laughing loudly until they finally reached his flat. Jongdae was keeping Daeul company when Joonmyeon and the boy's mother were completely immersed in their conversation.

Jongdae watched them with interest.

Okay, he was sour. Okay, he cared about Joonmyeon and okay, he didn't like this image in front of him and okay, he didn't like surrendering Joonmyeon to anyone. Not this woman, not Baekhyun. Okay, he wanted the man and right now, he wanted his attention and pushed himself into their midst. “Daeul's cold.” Stupid lie, but worked anyway.

The mother opened up, thanking the two young men with a lunch box that Daeul wouldn't be taking to school today.

Food. A feast.

Once the door closed, Jongdae could hear his stomach roaring. He hoped it was just his imagination though.

Turned out it wasn't. Joonmyeon was laughing heartily but pushed the box into Jongdae's hands with a big grin. “You seem to want this. I have enough food in the fridge, so maybe this poor student would need this more than me.” He was not poor. He was broke. There was a big margin of a difference.

“You're popular,” Jongdae muttered, making his way down to the 5th floor. Joonmyeon was following him meanwhile, keeping a distance in between them.

“You're not.”

“Sherlock Holmes you must be,” Jongdae answered, turning around to look at Joonmyeon, who was smiling at him. Still and unwavering. The student couldn't even muster up the courage and balls to offer Joonmyeon a cup of tea while the man cared so much for everyone.

“The kids really do love you. I saw you playing outside with them these days.” Jongdae blinked before waving it off like it was not a big thing.

“I've been living here for 8 months now and you could say... we're growing close.” Jongdae nodded to himself. He had found friends in these kids. The other residents never really approved of that, but Jongdae had never found it in himself to care about that. He might be a lazy asshole, but he was not a bad person. He had made mistakes, but he had also apologised and realised how stupid he had been.

“They've got your heart in between their little fingers,” Joonmyeon said, walking down the stairs until he stood in front of Jongdae. Today he was wearing a lovely red and green Christmas pullover which was hugging his body in all the right places. His black joggers were reaching down to his knees and really, Jongdae thought that cuddling with Joonmyeon would be a lovely thing to do now. He was being a horrible sap.

“They at least see me as I am.”

“Who is Jongdae then?”

“A very broke student, but... what I mean to say is, I am not a party boy. I threw one Birthday party and it was the biggest mistake of my life, seeing how the police almost locked me in... Uh,” Jongdae caught onto Joonmyeon's gaze, struck for a moment until he regained the ability to speak, “I am actually extremely friendly! Attentive and I can mind my manners just fine.”

Someone remind him not spit useless information. Why was he like this in front of Joonmyeon? Maybe Kyungsoo was right after all, handling a small crush was one hell of a task.

“You're...” Jongdae swallowed hard, eyes locking onto the other's for the time being. “The most interesting person I have met in a long time.”

“That's probably because you're sticking to all these stuck up business poopers. But hey, I am your rescue,” Jongdae confidently said, because he had already screwed himself over and still Joonmyeon was not leaving his side. This was a sign. At least he liked it to be one, if god was feeling ecstatic today.

“I am... a business pooper?” Joonmyeon suddenly asked and Jongdae broke the eye contact, because he had once again destroyed their conversation all on his own. He just wanted to be funny!

“A... good-looking one?”

“That all?” Jongdae raised an eyebrow before catching Joonmyeon's smirk. The boy took a step forward, arm reaching out to push the older man out of spite, but the other easily caught Jongdae's wrist in his hand. He playfully pulled Jongdae closer to himself until their faces were mere inches apart and there was something absolutely amazing about Joonmyeon's lips.

Jongdae could practically feel his hormones kicking in and he had none of that. He was mature enough not to fantasize about someone else's lips.

On a second thought he really would have liked to get laid.

It was more of a need though.

Jongdae mentally slapped himself twice before shoving himself past Joonmyeon. “D-Don't think they all just fall for your charms, business pooper!” Jongdae screamed, but he did not turn around to look at Joonmyeon again. He also probably didn't imagine Joonmyeon to be laughing, because it sounded too true to be fake.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

The lunch box was good. Jongdae also decided that it was probably the last edible thing for today. He already felt his stomach protesting. His brain followed soon after, but what was he supposed to do? Tomorrow was the 25th, a fucking Sunday. He couldn't leave the house today neither, since the walls were about to break in because of the snow. He had never experienced something like this. Sounded like a bad joke.

_I told you._

Jongdae closed Kyungsoo's text message and laughed at himself.

Not a second later his cellphone started vibrating again and the student braced himself when he saw Baekhyun's name lightening up on his screen, along with an attachment. Probably a picture.

_A picture to encourage you today. Fighting, Kim Jongdae._

He stared at the picture for a moment before closing it quickly. He really didn't need a shoot of Baekhyun's non-existent dick. What the hell was wrong with this guy? He was probably laughing like a maniac right now, because he could annoy the heck out of Jongdae with much success.

Gosh, he should watch tv or something—

When his phone started vibrating again, he accepted the call right away only to scream loudly, because this was totally Baekhyun teasing him.

“Baekhyun, I now know what to call men who love small dicks.” He took a deep breath before laughing. “Your next boyfriends—“

“So, I guess this Baekhyun is not your boyfriend then, because you don't like small—“ God fucking damn it!

“F-Forget that! W-What did you want from me, Joonmyeon-sshi?” Jongdae had a talent for embarrassing himself. He was assured of that by now. Why didn't he check the screen before casually accepting the call? He couldn't be cool in front of Joonmyeon. Maybe he just wasn't cool in general.

How upsetting.

“I actually wanted you to help me with the curtains. Could you take a look at them for me? I've got the slight hunch that it is not even, but I am not good at stuff like that.” Good thing Joonmyeon didn't probe further. He was a very considerate man. Now that Jongdae thought about it, he had always been that way with Jongdae.

The cry for help needed to be answered, so Jongdae grabbed his pair of binoculars and pushed his curtains aside to take a look at Joonmyeon's. It really wasn't even. Jongdae supposed that everyone could actually see that... Everyone but his dear neighbour.

“You should totally lift the right side.”

“What?” Jongdae heard it rustling on the other line and wondered if his cellphone stopped working, but the next thing he saw was Joonmyeon pulling aside his curtains. He was staring right at Jongdae from across the building before he could hear someone laughing. Joonmyeon disappeared from the window, probably laughing his ass off for a reason Jongdae couldn't quite grasp.

He took a look at the binoculars in his hand before he could feel the heat rushing up to his face.

“W-What's so funny!” he complained, loudly enough for Joonmyeon to register as he threw the binoculars onto his sofa. Jongdae was a laughing stick.

“Get over, silly,” Joonmyeon's voice was slightly husky and ragged, which was most likely caused by his fit of laughters and giggles. Jongdae was not going to comment on that but, wait—

He was invited by Joonmyeon? _Silly._

“Really?” he asked like the idiot he was and there was a short moment of silence.

“I'd like your company, Jongdae.”

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

“I am sorry for screaming at you back then, really.” Joonmyeon just nodded away when he opened the door for Jongdae, who was wearing his _The Legend of Zelda_ hoodie which was way too big for him, because it literally almost reached down to his knees. Beneath he was wearing his grey joggers which spelled the word _nerd_ on every side in big bold black letters.

He really might just be himself. Joonmyeon hadn't escaped yet, so for once he could try just being himself. Everything else he tried had already failed, very miserably in his opinion. This way nothing could go wrong really, because it was just who he was. Minseok called it one of is loveliest traits but really, they just needed someone to laugh at and _hey, here we have Kim Jongdae_.

“Baekhyun is... one of your friends?” Jongdae nodded at Joonmyeon's question and took a good look around the flat. It was bigger than his own. Everything looked rather modern. The walls were a deeper red than he had seen from his own room. The furniture was overall white with the slight exception of the grey sofa. There was a big television right above a low and long cabinet. On either side were two shelves, loaded with a lot of books which Jongdae immediately went to look at from up close.

They all had something to do with politics and history. Both topics were extremely interesting, Jongdae had to admit, but most of the time they were presented in a very boring light. Right next to them were the codes of law. Everything couldn't be further away from his major; Computer Science.

“Yeah, he is awful. Send me a picture of his dick while telling me to cheer up. I think he's got a screw or two loose.” Jongdae explored the rooms further, taking in the side of a luxurious desk, covered in golden décor. Several candles on top before Jongdae turned around the corner to open the next door. Yeah, he might as well be inviting himself.

“You're trespassing,” Joonmyeon suddenly said and Jongdae laughed mockingly.

“Stop me, if you don't like that—“ There was a pull at his left arm and another hand pushed the door close. Jongdae sheepishly looked up at Joonmyeon who had somehow caught the boy in between himself and the wall. “I guess you don't,” he said, trying to distract himself from the other man, because Joonmyeon's scent was rather enticing and the close proximity was currently not helping Jongdae or his hormones.

“Who knew you were such a naughty—“

“Please don't use outdated terms and...” Jongdae reached forward to pull at the ugliest grey sweater he had seen in a long long time. “Don't wear awful stuff like this. You're not some old grandfather.”

“You're even telling me how to dress?” Joonmyeon asked, a slight smile still playing around his lips, which surprised Jongdae. He didn't look angry neither serious.

“Advice, that's what I would personally call it.” Joonmyeon chuckled softly, letting go of Jongdae while giving the boy some space.

“Do I need to change out of it right away or can you still bear it?”

“You... would change for me?” Jongdae asked in confusion, a hand running through his hair as he wondered about how good natured Joonmyeon really was.

“Hmm, I'd like my company to actually look at me.”

_Why?_ The question was burning on his tongue, but instead his hand went up, gesturing for Joonmyeon to change. The man nodded, disappearing into the room Jongdae had not been allowed to enter. Why was he this much of a fool?

To distract himself from the frustration he felt bubbling up, the student took a look around, discovering the other's bathroom, which was probably as big as Jongdae’s living room. Joonmyeon really owned the nicest flat around, although Jongdae could not call it an apartment or villa. He was missing one thing that Jongdae didn't own either, but for Joonmyeon it was not a matter of money.

“Jongdae?” The boy turned around, looking at Joonmyeon who had changed back into the cosy Christmas pullover he had worn this morning.

“That's nice,” he commented, trying to crack a smile but he was more nervous than he had expected. Why couldn't he be more like Baekhyun? Then perhaps this would be working magnificently and he didn't have to try so hard to make things work.

“Something wrong?” Joonmyeon kept on asking, voice laced with concern that Jongdae didn't know how to interpret. Why was he actually aware of how Jongdae was feeling? He ought to change the topic quickly without the other noticing.

“Christmas tree.... You don't own one? I mean, I seriously don't, since I can't even afford a twig, but you should. I mean, this is a lovely little celebration for families—“

“I've always spend Christmas together with my family, but this year I'll spend it all alone—or so I had thought.” He looked at Jongdae for a moment before smiling. It was genuine although Joonmyeon's voice was anything but. “Now I wish I would have actually bought one, so you could have decorated it. You seem to like such things?”

“You're a worse sap than I am, Joonmyeon...” Jongdae noticed way too late that he left out the honorifics and cleared his throat, trying to search for a way out of this mess. He seriously didn't like being rude and he didn't mean it that way either—

“I like that.”

“What?”

“My name, dude.” Jongdae blinked in surprise, watching Joonmyeon tilt his head a little before scratching his cheek.

“Don't try to be cool. Don't even think about it.” Joonmyeon started laughing at Jongdae's remark, but nodded in defeat. He was awfully cute for 27. And also clueless. “Why aren't you spending Christmas together with your family, if I may ask?”

“Oh my father and mother decided to divorce early this year. I have taken over my father's position within the company meanwhile. Dad now lives in China while my mom is a volunteer doctor somewhere in Africa. We barely communicate and yeah.... I am a bit sappy, I guess.” Jongdae smiled faintly, slowly taking steps forward before patting Joonmyeon on the shoulder.

“2 saps together on Christmas. Guess that's cool.”

“What about you?” Joonmyeon's question was to be expected and Jongdae laughed slightly. He didn't know whether to tell the truth, because it was something highly personal but seeing that Joonmyeon had shared everything, Jongdae couldn't back out of it now.

“I came out at my Birthday party this year.” He nodded to himself twice. “Wasn't the most brilliant idea I had until now. Neither my father nor mother were exactly happy about that because they wanted grandchildren and I... can't fulfil their wish anymore. I mean, I couldn't years ago, but I was too afraid to tell them. Still, I know how beautiful it can be because two of my dear friends are a couple and watching them was hurting so much sometimes. I thought they'd be understanding but... we haven't exchanged a word since then. They must still be mad, while I am on my way to prove myself capable of living alone but I am horrible at it. I fail so often.”

“You're human, Jongdae. We all fail.” There was a reassuring hand cupping his cheek but Jongdae was only looking at the white bunnies portrayed on the other's sweater. They were cute. Joonmyeon was cute. “You've been brave, Jongdae. Admirable, if I were to put it into words. I am sure they will overcome their  sadness one day, because you're their precious son.” Jongdae dared to take a look at Joonmyeon, who was smiling so fondly that Jongdae wanted the moment to just stop, so he could keep this as a long lasting memory.

“Do you have a picture of your friends? I find this Baekhyun guy awfully interesting.” Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed together, making the elder laugh just slightly before he took out his cellphone. Joonmyeon moved to stand behind him, warm hot breath tickling Jongdae's ear, as he went through the gallery, totally not missing out on the small thumbnail of Baekhyun's dick. “You weren't lying...”

“Want to see it?”

“I absolutely decline.” Jongdae giggled loudly, hardly able to catch himself before turning his cellphone over. He showed Joonmyeon the Birthday party picture, where Baekhyun was next to Jongdae who was wearing a crown. On his left were Kyungsoo and Chanyeol hugging each other, one of the giant's arms tightly secured around his boyfriend. Jongdae swallowed hard, because his brain was trying to switch the heads of his friends with his and Joonmyeon's. Next to Baekhyun however, were Minseok and Soeul. Both were smiling brightly while showing the usual peace sign.

“Pretty Birthday boy,” Joonmyeon whispered and Jongdae's breath stopped for a moment. That was definitely a compliment... Pretty.

“I am not pretty,” Jongdae complained immediately, but none of that went past Joonmyeon.

“Of course not, you're absolutely manly, Jongdae.” He could be. He definitely could be, if that was what Joonmyeon was looking for. He could be anything Joonmyeon wished for and yet he was nothing. “The crown suits you, Jongdae,” Joonmyeon muttered and said student turned his head a little to look at his neighbour. “Very dominating.”

“You're not a sap, you're awful,” Jongdae commented, pouting for a minute or two because why was Joonmyeon this mean while being this handsome? Wasn't this worth a crime?

“Seriously, there's something very majestic about you.” Jongdae cocked an eyebrow, because the joke was bad. He was wearing a crown in that picture after all.

“Anyway, Mr. These are my friends. On the far left side we have Minseok. We've been friends for 6 years now. Been together at the same high school, in the same class. Next to him is his girlfriend Soeul. She's a lovely girl. On her other side is Baekhyun. You... know him. On my left you can see Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. I've known Kyungsoo for maybe 2 years. We had vocal lessons together until I couldn't afford them anymore. He's a great singer and a wonderful friend. Chanyeol's his boyfriend, well, uh, obviously. He's a bit dumb, but we all love him.” Jongdae once more turned to look at Joonmyeon, who was spotting the gentlest expression on earth.

“Sounds wonderful.” Joonmyeon probably didn't have friends like that, Jongdae guessed but he didn't dare mentioning it. He might have been wrong after all.

“Well, they can be pretty shitty at times,” Jongdae told his neighbour, who only nodded a few times.

“Not all can be as great as you.”

“You're a tease,” Jongdae spit, not quite missing out on the smirk that was playing around Joonmyeon's pretty plump lips. He knew how to play Jongdae and the boy was mentally having a meltdown.

“And you're... a nerd?” Jongdae raised an eyebrow before realising what Joonmyeon was getting at. He looked down at his joggers before laughing awkwardly.

“Computer science is my major.  Guess you could say this. If I can help you with anything, let me know. That's all I am good for really.”

“I doubt that. I doubt you know how much you can actually do, how much you mean to all of them.” Jongdae cracked a faint smile. Joonmyeon was a sap. A teasing sap, which was not fine with the student.

“So what am I supposed to do?” Joonmyeon handed Jongdae his laptop upon question. Told him his password before the two of them started to optimize the laptop in the way Joonmyeon wanted it to be. There were tons of unnecessary stuff on it and pop ups upon starting it, that Joonmyeon had no idea about. The poor man did not even have an adblock, a necessity for Jongdae. What would life be without it?

After half an hour both were finished with Joonmyeon spotting a rather exhausted expression. Perhaps Jongdae had overdone it a little with the information input. “You're an actual angel,” Joonmyeon commented, clicking through his pictures, which they had separated into folders. The man did not seem to be one for tidiness.

The student wanted to call Joonmyeon out for being a poor business pooper that had no idea about laptops, but Joonmyeon's phone suddenly started vibrating and Jongdae simply nodded. The man proceeded to answer the call and moved away from the boy, but he was still in ears range for Jongdae to pick up everything the other said.

Joonmyeon was like a different man. His voice was strict and demanding, sometimes scolding the person on the other side of the line, before he calmed down again. Jongdae started gnawing on his bottom lip, while watching Joonmyeon, fascinated because the man was treating him a lot differently. He only came to realise now how much of a kid he was for Joonmyeon.

The boy continued staring either way. That was only until he noticed Joonmyeon looking at him with a rather soft smile plastered on his face. He felt caught and made it all worse by looking the other way. Jongdae was not good at hiding his feelings and he didn't even try really. Either Joonmyeon was oblivious a lot or he just didn't have that kind of interest in Jongdae.

He would take the first step, wouldn't he?

The boy pressed his lips together in a thin line, just wanting to leave this room for a while.

“Jongdae.” His head whipped around when he heard Joonmyeon's voice, who had already ended his call. “I'll just shortly make a few other calls, okay? Please feel free to watch TV or anything you like.” With that Joonmyeon disappeared into another room which Jongdae made out to be the bathroom he had seen before.

When his cellphone vibrated, Jongdae mentally slapped himself twice. Once for actually looking at the screen and secondly for actually opening up Baekhyun's text message. _Think I'm getting dick tonight._ Jongdae groaned inaudibly, brushing a hand over his face before shaking his head. What kind of information was that?

_Fuck, his girlfriend just called and he ran off._

Jongdae started laughing, trying to be as quiet as possible, because Baekhyun always managed to make him happy. The student got up from the sofa and made his way over to the forbidden room. Yeah, he had been a naughty kid in school and even now he was still much of a brat. He grabbed the handle, slowly pushing it down before jamming the door open with force.

Jongdae walked inside, laughing at the mess of plush toys all neatly standing on top of his bedpost. He recognized them all. There were _Bulbasaur, Cyndaquil, Celebi, Mew, Shaymin and Mimikyu_. Gosh, the man was a _Pokemon_ fan for all Jongdae knew.

Much more surprising were the clothes lying on the ground though. It looked like a bomb exploded here.

Upon seeing the boxer shorts right besides the bed, Jongdae quickly ran over to the other side of the bed. He climbed on top of it before pulling out his cellphone again. Jongdae took a deep breath, snatching a picture of Joonmyeon's clothes, especially the underwear.

He attached the picture to a message directed at Baekhyun while a fat smirk was playing around his lips. He ought to pay the boy back after all.

_Getting a lot of dick tonight xxx_ , was the message on display and Jongdae patted himself on the shoulder for such a brilliant idea. He was a genius—

“What are you doing there? On my bed?” The cellphone slipped out of his hands, when Jongdae registered the other voice to be Joonmyeon's, who was standing in the door frame.

“I-I...” Jongdae took a look around and picked up his cellphone before smiling slightly. “I thought I could help you tidy your room—“

Joonmyeon was suddenly standing front of him and Jongdae feigned an innocent smile, not really catching onto the man's next actions. His cellphone was snatched from him and Jongdae whined loudly, hands reaching forward to pull at the waistband of Joonmyeon's joggers. _Give it back to me, please, please, pleeeease._

“You're getting my dick tonight?”

Jongdae was silent for a moment or two before shaking his head. “I-I never... I was just paying him back.”

“Then how does he know my name?” Jongdae saw his world shattering into pieces in front of him. What was wrong with him? Why did he do that? Why couldn't he stay away? Why was Joonmyeon using this word so casually?

“I-I might have talked about you before... You're after all the only neighbour almost my age in this whole building. Told them that I spoke a few times to you and that you're pretty cool.” Jongdae's hands were fisted into the blanket as he tried not to talk himself into trouble. After all he had just casually indirectly told Joonmyeon he'd like his dick. “They... told me to invite you to our grown up party at New Years Eve, but you must be pretty busy and I mean, this is a party for kids—“

“I'd like to,” Joonmyeon interrupted Jongdae, gently handing the cellphone back to the student before sitting down at the edge of the bed. The man must be more than oblivious. He should be giving Jongdae what he wanted or simply throw him out. What was so hard about that? Still, why did he mention this awful party?

“We'll be giving each other stupid presents and such. You don't need to bring any though, after all you didn't take part at the lottery. I will receive Baekhyun's present and I am already scared shitless.” Joonmyeon started laughing again, hand coming up to cover his mouth and really, that was annoying. He was with Jongdae, not with stuck up business poopers.

The student grabbed Joonmyeon's hand, forcing it away from his lips before gradually inching closer. “Don't, that's stupid. It's just me. Who am I to judge you for laughing... My friends and myself included are so stupid anyway.” Jongdae wanted to withdraw his hand again, but Joonmyeon suddenly held onto it, fingers slicing through Jongdae's so casually he might call it an illusion.

“Oh.” Jongdae opened up the chat with Baekhyun once more because his cellphone started vibrating again, much to the dismay of the younger. “Ugh, this can't be good.”

_You can't be getting dick when I am not_

_Is that old fart even handsome?_

_Bet his thing is so tiny, you can't even see it._

Jongdae swallowed, eyes meeting Joonmyeon's only briefly, because they were talking about his dick here and the elder was reading along.

“What will you answer?” Joonmyeon seemed really curious, surprising Jongdae, but he eagerly took on a challenge when he saw one.

_Sorry, couldn't hear you over the intensity of my orgasm._ Joonmyeon cracked a laugh, hand squeezing Jongdae's tightly. This was wishful thinking, Jongdae only thought to himself.

_He filled me up to the brim, so I can't really say._ He was the dirtiest kid around and Joonmyeon still didn't move away. Jongdae didn't know who was weirder here anymore.

Joonmyeon edged a little closer, side grazing Jongdae's as he read Baekhyun's reply. _You must be half a virgin then._

“He's so so stupid, gosh.” Jongdae took a deep breath before replying one last time.

_You are or you're not, Baekhyun. You can't be half pregnant either._

“Or fully pregnant,” Joonmyeon joked and Jongdae couldn't stop the chuckle from taking over him. Both were laughing in unison before Joonmyeon pushed the student off his bed.

“You ought to clean this room,” Jongdae complained and immediately started collecting the clothes before folding them neatly. He then proceeded to ask Joonmyeon where to put them, who immediately answered in between laughing and shaking his head at Jongdae's behaviour.

“Okay, I believe you have just gained your right to sleep in this bed.” Jongdae beamed brightly at the older man before casually jumping onto the bed, only to trip and fall all over the other man. “You're like a wild beast.” Jongdae started laughing at the remark, because he felt like a panda that had just toppled over.

“Shush, Joonmyeon,” Jongdae said before rolling down, heart trying to escape his chest. “But I can really...” He pointed at the bed and the elder nodded.

“It's big enough for two.” Of course it was. Joonmyeon was living a life for two people with all the stuff he owned.

“Can... I borrow a pyjama then?” Jongdae asked cautiously, because he didn't think he'd be able to sleep with his warm hoodie. Not to mention, his lazy streak was striking again and he absolutely wouldn't like to take a step out of this guy's home.

Joonmyeon nodded and handed Jongdae one which the student inspected for a moment. “You really do like Pokemon.” The boy smiled as _Charizard's_ shining appearance greeted him. What was he supposed to do with Joonmyeon? Jongdae absolutely couldn't take this serious at all.

“It's... the only thing I still silently enjoy.” Joonmyeon smiled slightly, but there was a tint of sadness. He tried to hide it well, but Jongdae still watched the other curiously. He had the feeling that his parents robbed Joonmyeon's childhood and the fun of his teenage years but he was no one to tell, because he didn't know his neighbour well. Either way, it added to his charms that Jongdae could not resist.

“Oh, I'll look away, alright? I'll change as well.” Jongdae nodded, although he didn't get why they had to change in the same room. He was not going to complain though, because he wouldn't need to leave this cozily warm room.

He quickly pulled off his clothes and put on the pyjama Joonmyeon gave him. It was a bit too big and wide, but that was what Jongdae liked anyway. It was utterly comfortable this way. The student turned around to tell Joonmyeon how stupid he lookedfeline meant to Joonmyeon.

Both started to watching few variety shows but it wasn't long before Jongdae couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. His head was jerking a few times, since he tried to stay awake, but couldn't help it when his head fell back down on his pillow. Joonmyeon turned to look at the student once before switching off the television. The man lay close to the younger male and closed his eyes.

 

 

 

Cold sweat was covering Jongdae's forehead _ _as he _ran, ran, ran_ tirelessly and endlessly._ _

The student woke up sharply, eyes staring at the darkness in front of him. He could make out the window and the few rays of light that fought their way through the man's curtains. It was oddly quiet as Jongdae remembered where he was. Joonmyeon was still lying behind him, breathing quietly, evenly as Jongdae tried to catch his breath but he was still taken by the nightmare.

It wasn't often that Jongdae actually experienced bad dreams. He never thought it would happen to him right next to Joonmyeon, but apparently his brain tried to process different emotions, while his heart was beating quickly. This time however it was hardly because of Joonmyeon.

He stayed awake for a few minutes, simply enjoying the silence. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the shift in the bed and two arms encircling his waist. Jongdae was taken by surprise when he suddenly felt hot breath ghosting over his neck, a solid and strong chest pressing against his back while Joonmyeon grabbed one of his hands, stroking it soothingly. Why was he awake?

“Everything alright?” he asked, voice adjusted to the silence, so it wasn't much more than whisper.

“Sorry, I don't often have nightmares,” Jongdae explained but there was a shush leaving Joonmyeon's lips, making Jongdae tremble a little.

“No need to justify yourself, Jongdae. Are you alright?” Jongdae nodded, squeezing Joonmyeon's hand in assurance. Joonmyeon's company really was assuring. He was so awfully sweet, but Jongdae knew that this was just who Joonmyeon was. His neighbour was a very good man who helped everyone who needed support.

“Let's go back to sleep, alright?” He felt Joonmyeon's lips moving against his neck, lips brushing past naked skin.

Not in reality.

But in his dream.

There Joonmyeon could be his.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

The day of the party was edging closer and Jongdae was dreading the moment in which Joonmyeon would be meeting his friends. He was way older than them, while his bunch of friends were immature pieces of shit (which he loved nonetheless). What if one or the other wouldn't like Joonmyeon or if his neighbour disliked any of Jongdae's friends? He wouldn't know how to handle that. Handling Joonmyeon alone was too much of a task.

Not even two days without him and Jongdae already found himself missing the man. He was not just a sap. He was emotionally weak and dependent, yet nobody had ever told him that it was indeed a problem. The boy sighed, scrolling through his tlists, laughing at the stupid comments Kyungsoo made while dragging Baekhyun and his taste in men down. Well, it was horrible.

 

__**@baeksdick**  
_@kyungtelligent do me a favor and suck your boyfriend's dick_ _ _

__**@kyungtelligent**  
_@baeksdick too bad you don't have one to even look at_ _ _

__**@backsdick** _  
_@kyungtelligent this way I won't have to feel disappointed with my boyfriend's teenie weenie peenie_ _

_**@kyungtelligent** _  
_@baeksdick Yeah, because you've got no boyfriend in the first place. Your whole life is a disappointment._

**@jundae**  
_@baeksdick do I feel disgusted to type this username. @kyungtelligent could you guys like stop it?_

**@kyungtelligent**  
_@jundae I believe I am speaking for myself and baeksdick but how good was the sex on Christmas Eve?_

 

He locked the screen and fell down on his sofa. This was embarrassing. Not too mention, he had changed his username days ago. He was more embarrassing than his friends counted together. It was like he shipped himself with Joonmyeon. He did a lot of shipping. Maybe he was the only who thought that _Harry_ was the one and only for _Hermione_.

Jongdae grabbed his cup of _passionate love_ (some stupid fruit tea) before unlocking his phone again when Joonmyeon's name appeared, along with a snapchat message. Well, he could be sure that the man would not send him a picture of his most important assessment, so it was absolutely safe to open snapchat.

Jongdae spilled the tea all over his floor when he caught sight of the attachment and immediately grabbed a napkin to clean the mess. Someone ought to warn him at least. Joonmyeon should be aware of his effect on Jongdae by now. Nobody could be that oblivious. Nobody. Absolutely no one.

And he did not even feel guilty that he made a fucking screenshot of the picture just to keep it.

It was only later that he remembered how snapchat actually worked.

_you're the most oblivious stalker, dae._

_you looked nice._

_I see, you like me naked._

Jongdae locked the cellphone again and pushed his face into one of his bright red pillows before screaming. He liked Joonmyeon's abs. He really did. Everyone would. Especially when Joonmyeon took a picture of himself working out while having his shirt off. Jongdae started wailing and rolling up and down before sighing, head hanging down the edge of his small sofa. When his cellphone vibrated, he again took a look at the messages.

_pay me back._

Just what did he want?

_dae, don't be unfair._

The boy looked down at himself before sighing. He did think that Joonmyeon should be paid back, but he wanted to impress the other. That would not be happening with the way his body was build right now. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights, questioning his sanity when he pulled up his shirt, biting into it while digging one hand into the waistband of his joggers. Sexy. A sexy panda.

He took the shot nonetheless and sent it to Joonmyeon. He felt his hands trembling before he threw the cellphone away. There was no further message and Jongdae groaned loudly. He was such a fucking idiot. Of course Joonmyeon wouldn't save it, perhaps not even wanting to look at it really. He should have known what he was asking for though.

When the ground beneath shook for a moment, he grabbed the cellphone, eagerly unlocking the screen before his cheeks started to spot a soft shade of red.

_i guess, looking away is not a thing when it comes to you_

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae was the first to arrive at Baekhyun's house, courtesy to the boy's parents being in Japan for a week or two. Both prepared the food, while the house slowly started to be filled up. Minseok was the second one to arrive with Soeul, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol came right after. Now Jongdae was just missing his more than apparent crush.

Joonmyeon didn't take long though. He heard the doorbell ringing and Baekhyun looked at him with the hugest grin yet. “Shut up,” the student threat, making his friend laugh, but both continued preparing the ddeokguk and manduguk. “They look good,” Jongdae commented and Baekhyun sneaked an arm around Jongdae's waist before whispering into his ear, “distract yourself, alright.”

“I'm so sad, that killing is considered a crime,” Jongdae fought back quietly, but Baekhyun only laughed before trying a dumpling. Jongdae slapped his hand, a growl escaping his lips.

“You glutton!”

He heard voices; Kyungsoo's and Joonmyeon's. They were probably striking up a conversation and Minseok chimed in at the end. At least it was not awfully bad. They seemed to get along for now and it was not long before he heard steps coming closer. Soeul tip-toed to look over Baek's shoulder before stealing a dumpling as well. “Oh, this is great.”

Baekhyun pointed at Jongdae, who only smiled faintly.

Kyungsoo came up to pat Jongdae's shoulder before dragging Baekhyun away, talking about something that Jongdae didn't understand. Chanyeol remained at Jongdae's side, one arm casually slung around the tinier one's shoulders. He always did that, but Jongdae stopped bothering, because he couldn't wish for better friends.

“You're getting good at cooking. Do you sing for us with Kyungsoo later on?”

Jongdae dared to take a peek at Joonmyeon, who was dressed in a button up shirt and skinny black jeans. He really didn't know how Joonmyeon pulled everything off so effortlessly. He looked curious, tilting his head when Jongdae turned around to look at Chanyeol. “Isn't that a tradition?”

His friend nodded and Jongdae followed, “then of course we will.” Chanyeol seemed pleased and left the kitchen.

“Cooking, singing, what can't you do?”

“Impress you,” Jongdae answered, regretting it right away. These were the moments in which his mouth worked quicker than his brain.

“Is that necessary?” Jongdae looked over at Joonmyeon, cheeks shining in the lights of the cooker. He looked downright adorable and really, one could only call this unfair because Jongdae tried styling his short hair but it still looked ridiculous. Jongdae started to think that the word _sexy_ did not apply to him in the first place. Apart from trying to style himself, he opted to wear a simple white pullover, blue slacks and his specs.

_”I hope you're not trying to play the hot assistant.”_

Trying to be cute was closer to Jongdae's original goal, but of course Baekhyun had already destroyed his hope. Meanwhile he had also found out that Jongdae had only been joking about getting Joonmyeon's dick. Sometimes he wished it wasn't just a stupid prank.

“How were your days?” Joonmyeon must have taken Jongdae's silence as a clear answer and continued questioning the boy.

“Oh good, been doing a lot of project work. Helped my friend with creating a dating app, but gosh, awful shit, I tell you... My new year’s resolution is to not use the word shit anymore, by the way.” Joonmyeon chuckled and Jongdae stopped breathing, when he was suddenly pulled close, right into Joonmyeon's arms. Strong arms, solid chest, warm, hot breath.

_That_ scent.

He was about to melt, when Joonmyeon let go again, just as sudden. “Perfume?” Joonmyeon asked and Jongdae shook his head.

“Then it has to be _just_ you.” Jongdae didn't continue talking because there was something about Joonmyeon's hand sliding along his side, stopping at his hips before Jongdae met his neighbour's intense gaze again.

“Still keeping the gym picture?” Jongdae started coughing, brain short cutting as the student lifted up his leg to start kicking Joonmyeon, who immediately stepped back.

“Must be sad, cause you didn't save mine,” Jongdae joked, tongue poking out at the corner of his lips, but his rather cheeky expression faded away when he heard Joonmyeon's reply.

“I am but... I really didn't know how to take a screenshot and then it was already gone.” Jongdae watched Joonmyeon swiping his tongue over his bottom lip before he pressed them together into a thin line.

“I-I could show you again once we're home...”

Joonmyeon was flirting with him. He was not imagining things. He might as well have a shot at it tonight. Even if there was probably nothing more than sweet desire on his neighbour's side.

“Only if you want to, Dae.”

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae watched Baekhyun unwrap his present. He had not thought much about it, because there was only one thing Baekhyun needed these days (besides a gagging-ball). The boy clapped his hands twice before showing the gamer keyboard to their friends. Kyungsoo sighed rather loudly, while Chanyeol leaned forward to take a closer look at it. “This glows in the dark, right?” Jongdae only nodded, smiling fondly as Soeul took it into her hands.

“That's so neat. Jongdae always has the best presents,” she commented, pouting a little before elbowing Minseok.

“He's selfless and considerate. Sometimes a tad too much...” Minseok winked at Jongdae, who felt slightly angered because _hello_ he was sitting here. At least it was not an insult, more of an advice on Minseok's part. “Aren't you using my spare one?”

Baekhyun nodded immediately. “Mine broke few months ago and since then I have been using Seok's. I am astonished you actually know about this,” Baekhyun commented, mouth slightly agape while his eyes still inspected the keyboard. He was clearly blown, so Jongdae could indeed consider this a miracle.

“Of course I do, in contrast to someone else, I am extremely attentive!” Soeul started chuckling, hand reaching forward to give Kyungsoo his present.

“I hope you like it.”

Kyungsoo unwrapped it with a lot of force before he pulled out a black shirt. The boy wore a stern expression as he looked at the front himself. Chanyeol was already excitedly clapping his boyfriend's thigh, indirectly telling Kyungsoo to show it to everyone. His boyfriend promptly did as he was urged to and turned the piece of clothing around.

_I am not bitchy, you just don't do what I want._

It was self-explanatory and Jongdae tried hard to hold his laughter back, but there was clearly no need to when Chanyeol roared like a puppy lion before almost rolling around on the floor. The giant was a not a living meme for no reason.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo finally said, but his voice wasn't more than a whisper. He handed Soeul her present with a smile, who did her best at unwrapping it neatly, probably wanting to recycle the paper, something Jongdae was not thinking of as he already held Baek's present in his hands. _You should be the last one to open it._

It actually spelled Baekhyun's death date. Today.

Soeul pulled out a necklace, which she immediately put on. It was simple but still pretty, one golden wing attached to it as a charm. “Thank you so much!” Kyungsoo only nodded, still shook by his present.

Next to unveil his present was Chanyeol, who pulled out a collar for _Toben_ , his new dog. Minseok had once again proven to be thoughtful, because the taller one even created an instagram account only for the dog, stating that he did not have a collar yet. Well, guess Chanyeol could call himself lucky for receiving one today.

Minseok also quickly unpacked his present; a headband with reindeer antlers. “This is... wonderful,” the older one commented, not quite yet believing what he was holding in his hands. Soeul seemed to be smitten though, as she snatched it away before putting it on her boyfriend's head. Minseok looked ridiculous in Jongdae's eyes but the girlfriend seemed to love it anyway.

Jongdae turned his head to look at Baekhyun, who was happily typing away at Joonmyeon's cellphone. No, the student did not know why his friend asked for it, neither did he know why Joonmyeon actually gave it to him. Jongdae was not sure, if he wanted to know it either way, because this present would be the most embarrassing one in history. He could already see it coming.

“You may open it now.” Jongdae looked to his left, where Joonmyeon was sitting, pressed up against the younger male, because there was barely any space left on the sofa. Nevertheless did he manage to unwrap his present, elbow brushing against Joonmyeon's side every so often before he pulled out a mysterious looking package.

Jongdae looked at the picture of the front before gasping, wanting to hide the dubious present but there was no stopping Baekhyun, when the package suddenly started vibrating. He did not fucking buy couple vibrators for Jongdae only to install the matching app on Joonmyeon's cellphone?!

The student pushed the package onto Joonmyeon's lap before actually throwing himself at Baekhyun, who only gasped loudly, hand reaching out to hand Joonmyeon his cellphone back. “I leave my friend in your loving hands.”

“Can I kill him now?” Jongdae shook Baekhyun a few times, hands fisting into the collar of the ugliest Christmas sweater he had ever put his eyes on (uglier than Joonmyeon’s), before letting go again and leaving the room. He had to cool down his head as his brain reached the meltdown of absolutely no return. He was the absolute laughing stick.

Joonmyeon was not following him though and for once he was insanely grateful.

The evening somehow carried on when the friends played stupid card or board games, where Kyungsoo almost always won. Jongdae absolutely couldn't concentrate on any of the games presented in front of him, since there was Joonmyeon sitting right next to him. The package of sex toys right besides him. How couldn't he throw that shit away? Not too mention that Jongdae felt himself suffocating beneath Joonmyeon's intense gaze. He was glad when the man's turn arrived, because for once his attention would swift over to the game they were playing.

This day was a living nightmare.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae was in the kitchen, mixing drinks when he suddenly found himself there all alone with Joonmyeon, who was sitting on the counter next to him. “You can mix drinks, too, you're a multi talent.” Joonmyeon was not going to talk about that present and Jongdae immediately calmed down, smiling slightly at the business man although it was awfully awkward in between them.

“I was working part time at a bar, taught me a lot.” Jongdae pointed at the different kind of drinks before shifting his attention towards Joonmyeon again. “What do you want?”

Joonmyeon's gaze rested on Jongdae a little too long for the student not to interpret a thousand things into this small action. He was feeling like a girl enrolling into high school upon meeting her first love. This was even more embarrassing than the actual present.

“Anything will do.”

“Lots of alcohol then?” Jongdae asked, chuckling softly, because he himself needed a bottle.

“None. Who else will take you home tonight?” Oh. Jongdae nodded for a moment before mixing something sweet for the elder. A simple banana and cherry juice. It suited Joonmyeon in Jongdae's opinion while he mixed alcohol into every other glass. He knew after all about his friends’ favourites.

“I was wondering...” Jongdae tilted his head to look at Joonmyeon, who was deeply immersed in his thoughts, hand brushing over his chin a few times. “If one day I can be as close to you as they are. If I can mean as much to you as they do.” He wanted to be Jongdae's friend? Like any of them? Was he into being friends with benefits? Was it perhaps not what Jongdae was thinking right now?

He couldn't bear the thoughts of being friends with Joonmyeon though. Physical desire was not going to cut it for him. A few moments ago, he had still believed it, but right now the sole thought was hurting him. Perhaps it was a good time to talk about the truth now. There was only one hour left in 2016 and he ought to use this.

He could be free in 2017.

“Impossible, I don't want you to be my friend.” Joonmyeon looked more than offended, completely shook as he jumped down from the counter. His mouth slightly agape and there was definitely something he wanted to say, but Jongdae cut him off.

“I've been more than obvious, I think. I've made a thousand fools out of myself. Being friends won't cut it for me, Joonmyeon. I see you as the man I met that day in the snow, who offered me a jacket and a hot cocoa. I see you as that hot neighbour I've been harbouring a crush on before I even got to know him. I got to know that man and despite everything I have done to destroy it, these feelings do not simply go away. I-I really like you and I wish you would accept this. So... I say no to being friends, please leave, if that is not alright with you.”

Before Joonmyeon could even muster up an intelligent answer, Jongdae had left the kitchen, along with his confession and pain. Nonetheless he put on a smile for his friends, who were watching one of Kyungsoo's favourite movies.

Why Joonmyeon actually stayed was more than a mystery to Jongdae.

At least he was sitting across of Jongdae, a safe distance away from the boy.

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

The friends left the house shortly before 12am, Jongdae at Baekhyun's side, who was more than surprised at his friend's presence next to him. Baekhyun nevertheless put an arm around Jongdae's shoulder, as all of them watched the fireworks at Hangang. It was absolutely beautiful and magnificent.

It made him feel slightly bad, because he had most likely ruined Joonmyeon's night and 2017. He ought to apologise to his neighbour. He had lived alone for the last years and he would continue to do so, if Joonmyeon did not harbour the same feelings. Nothing much would change. In a few months, he would greet Joonmyeon casually and maybe then they could be real friends.

“You're not happy, but you should be,” Baekhyun said, pulling Jongdae closer to his side, both being wrapped in thick warm jackets.

“I'm not just in it for the sex,” Jongdae said, knowing Baekhyun would be aware of what he was talking about, but the boy only laughed loudly. Seemingly he did not understand and Jongdae already wanted to slap him hard, but of course, something had to follow.

“You think he is? You must be oblivious to _how_ he feels instead. I feel like he's staring a hole into my head.” Jongdae leaned forward, eyes sliding over his friends before they stopped at Joonmyeon, right besides Chanyeol. The man was indeed looking at Jongdae and Baekhyun, but nothing about it was malicious. He looked more like a sad puppy. “Use this chance, talk it out. You haven't listened to his side, have you?”

Jongdae shook his head, sighing slightly when a hand came up to firmly squeeze his butt. “W-What,” he spluttered.

“Couldn't resist, cause I think it'll soon be unavailable.” Jongdae huffed in defiance before following Baekhyun's advice. He gestured for Joonmyeon to follow him and there was absolutely no hesitation in his neighbour's steps when they both moved away from the crowd to a silent place.

Jongdae looked at the empty streets and leaned against the dysfunctional street lamp. It was weird, considering it had been noisy just moments ago. It was better this way though.

“I wanted to apologise,” the student started the conversation and bowed to Joonmyeon, but the man only grabbed Jongdae's shoulder to make him look upwards instead.

“I-I am not good at this... dating and stuff.” Joonmyeon ran a hand through his styled hair, ruining it immensely until his bangs fell down in his face. Jongdae stayed quiet though, figuring that his crush might elaborate on this statement, which absolutely wouldn't bother Jongdae. No one was an expert at dating.

“My parents often set me up on blind dates. Ought to marry someone who would help me in the company or who just... gave off a good vibe. Like someone who would look good with me, for the image and everything. I tried hard liking these girls, but they didn't mean a thing to me, neither when I kissed them nor when I actually tried to make out with them. There was nothing and in the end I gave up. My parents later on divorced and that's when I decided I didn't need someone at my side.”

Jongdae nodded, half confused about Joonmyeon's sexuality, but it didn't matter. It was Joonmyeon he liked. Every part of him, no matter if it was flawed or perfect, because he wasn't better.

“If it wasn't for you, at least. I thought... I had been obvious, but... I didn't know if I was crossing your limits, these... invisible lines in between us. I didn't want to hurt or scare you. I was really confused, too, because I... I've never... with a man—“

“Doesn't really matter, to be honest. I like you, not your gender. Is it different for you?” Joonmyeon shook his head upon hearing Jongdae's question, a slight smile gracing his features. He didn’t seem so unsure.

“I just need to get used to that, but... Jongdae, I didn't mean that I wanted to be your friend. I just.... Seeing you guys together made me realise that I'd like to be a part of this. I'd like to... be your boyfriend. I'd love to give this a try and to... get to know you better.”

The corners of Jongdae’s turned up, heart beating rapidly like wild drums. Baekhyun was right and he had been unfair.

Perhaps a tad stupid and oblivious.

Perhaps all of that, but he really couldn't fathom what was going on right now. It only started to dawn upon him, when Joonmyeon grabbed his hands.

“Shit you're cold,” Joonmyeon exclaimed and Jongdae cleared his throat. So Joonmyeon was just as good as destroying the mood as the student was.

“Sorry, but you're really cold.”

“Kiss me warm,” Jongdae demanded, earning nothing but a chuckle from the elder.

“Earn it, my little panda.”

 

 

 

 

 

❄

 

 

 

 

 

It was about an hour later that everyone was gathered at Baekhyun's place again. They picked up where they left; Kyungsoo winning every goddamn game. Chanyeol had given up meanwhile, tongue slipping through his lips as he was purposely sulking, but Kyungsoo didn't even spend him a gaze. Baekhyun's game was still going strong, since he was quite competitive, although he was whining more than he was actually thinking about what step to take next.

Soeul was calmly sorting through her options, not like she had many with the money she had lost these last rounds. She didn't get pissed off though and told everyone that _Monopoly_ just wasn't her game. Minseok on the other hand was doing quite well, better than Baekhyun at least. He was a lot calmer than his friend and perhaps even smarter, but Jongdae didn't want to judge that.

He felt intimidated enough sitting besides Joonmyeon, who was eyeing the game curiously. Probably seemed like a joke to him since he was a business man, a heir to a corporation that owned at least 10% of Seoul's economy. Jongdae did not understand much about it and thus he didn't keep asking, saving himself from the grace of embarrassment. He had taken enough of that for a life's worth.

Joonmyeon's comforting touch to Jongdae's shoulder was reassuring though and he tried his best to actually pull through. He was doing as badly as Soeul and that was probably why nobody paid him much attention, especially when Soeul gave up as well. Turned out it was a game of strong spirits between Kyungsoo, Minseok and Baekhyun. Jongdae's money on the other hand was steadily growing.

It didn't last long though, money disappearing in the blink of an eye as he lost against Kyungsoo. At least he was longer in the game than Baekhyun and Minseok, but he was not exactly a winner after... he lost count of the rounds.

Overall, Jongdae was finally feeling a little bit sleepy, body latched onto Joonmyeon's like a koala bear. He was not as cute though.

“We're all losers,” Minseok finally announced, earning a few glares but eventually they all nodded, even Kyungsoo, who earned more glares than Minseok seconds ago. He deserved them however.

“Jongdae was pretty good though. For once.” Jongdae wanted to complain, hand reaching out to whack over Kyungsoo's head. He didn't get to do as he wanted though, because there were suddenly two strong arms wrapped around his waist.

“He was,” Joonmyeon said, breath tickling Jongdae's ear before the boy finally turned around to look at his boyfriend. The word was making him giddy. He also couldn't get enough of Joonmyeon's darker tone of voice, quite sensual and enticing, but Jongdae really could guess himself lucky. Joonmyeon was _his_.

“Earned it.” Jongdae barely had the time to blink, when two plump lips met his, slow and passionately, one hand cupping Jongdae's cheek as Joonmyeon pressed himself unbelievably closer.

Jongdae's hands reached for Joonmyeon's neck, ears glowing in a soft shade of red when he couldn't stop the whine that made its way up his throat. Joonmyeon was gentle kisser. Not prodding at all and Jongdae really liked it that way. A man this considerate and good looking was a rarity. He just wanted to appreciate the kiss even more, thinking that nothing could destroy this moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“This is so gross. Get yourself a room or use your _fucking_ present.”

Except for Baekhyun.


End file.
